Careening through clouds over a pristine beach of white sand, I take a second to ponder the lives of those who can’t fly. What a downtrodden population it must be, not being able to feel the wind whip their hair back sharply, caressing their shoulders as they navigate the skies. As I reluctantly land at my destination, careful to avoid the haphazardly placed palm and forest trees, a rather odd assortment for such a temperate location, I jerk a bit, my walking staggered by the evil creature known in my world simply as “Lag.”

Suddenly, my senses dull, and three flimsy, grey carpeted walls come into my sight; a large, off-white, fluorescent light glares overhead, and directly in front of me is my computer screen, with a human character standing in front of a beach house, rather impatiently. I then remember that I did not fly, and do not have physical impairments that prevent me from walking fluidly; I have yet again allowed myself to abandon reality as we know it and lose myself in my Second Life, a virtual, user created platform where one can begin life anew.

Looking around my cubicle, I suddenly feel a twinge of guilt; piles of documents begging to be processed lay strewn about, and a familiar voice looms over head- it’s that of my boss, making rounds. I quickly minimize the Second Life screen, pausing for a second to look at my character, of whom I named Shagwella Blitz (a name that I now kick myself in the pants for, as I am not able to get a decent SL job because of its…uniqueness), and pull up the company database, hammering away at the keys like a happy little administrative assistant. “Hi Paul, how are you this morning,” I squeak, rather guiltily might I add. “Oh, just fine, Linda- how are you coming along with those expense reports?” I quickly glance at the disheveled stack of papers and grimace, swiveling in my uncomfortable faux leather office chair to peer up at my boss. “Oh, they’re coming. I should have them complete by this afternoon.” Satisfied with my answer, Paul nods his head solemnly before walking around to the next set of cubicles to check on his accountants. I sigh loudly, and after lifting slightly from my chair to check out my surroundings, I hit the maximize key on my Second Life screen.

My boyfriend had already arrived at my beach home by the time I’d rejoined life number two, and my instant message box was filled with queries as to my whereabouts. I saunter into the house clad in a purple cropped jacket from Thimbles over a plain white system undershirt, Armidi jeans and silver Stiletto Moody pumps. Taking a final alt-scroll look at my appearance, I change my hair from an extravagant long curly ‘do to a bun with side-swept bangs. As I settle on the couch’s poseball next to my Second man, as I so affectionately call him, I notice he’s watching “I Think I Love My Wife” on the Speakeasy big screen.

Shagwella Blitz: hey, whatcha up to?
BillyRay Courtois: nothin much, just watching your tv lol
Shagwella Blitz: well, you should be watching something else *winks*
BillyRay Courtois: oh trust me, I am *licks his lips*
BillyRay Courtois: hey, where’s your collar? how dare you take it off without my permission!
Shagwella Blitz: oh you mean the amethyst one? I got a dari’s instead- you get more control
Shagwella Blitz: I’m sorry Master…girl will not do it again
BillyRay Courtois: w/e…just put it on so I can lock you to a metal ball lmfao

Dropping to my knees in submission before my boyfriend, my first self giggles a little bit at the exchange, wondering how such an independent woman could allow some virtual man to control her actions. I pull up my inventory, and “snap” the Dari collar around my neck; a black leather collar adorned with sharp looking spikes, it almost felt as if I had transformed into a beast- a lustful, pleasure seeking maiden who lives up to her name. Somehow my real life crept in again, and I thought about my husband- what a wreck he was in this department! Thank goodness for the magic of virtual reality.

I crawled over to my boyfriend, my stylish outfit magically transforming into a skimpy black silk teddy with fine lace detailing. Where did I get this from again? Oh, Nyte and Day! I’ll have to get another, I think to myself. Kneeling in front of my Abyss-skinned lover, I smile, watching as a pink and blue poseballs appear in front of me, with rather risqué commands listed on both.

BillyRay Courtois: get on, now.
Shagwella Blitz: yes, Mast

A sudden tap on the real life shoulder disrupts my lusty banter- it was Paul, my boss, glaring. “Hi Paul, I was just-““Linda, this is the second time I have caught you in this…this game, neglecting your work responsibilities. Do you know how many people would kill to have your position right now?” I blinked, stifling a giggle as the $10.60 an hour Administrative Assistant position at Barney and Associates seemed less important than what Paul believed it to be. “Uh, I am sure many would, sir. I’m sorry- I’ve just been having trouble concentrating…“ Whizzing around in my chair, my mouth drops as I notice BillyRay is naked on my screen, his…attachment inches away from my virtual face. I put my hands up to the screen in a futile attempt to cover my lover’s nudity as Paul looks on with wide eyes. “What! Linda what in the world are you doing? Just…just pack up your things…you have until lunchtime to be out of here!” His face beet red with embarrassment, Paul storms away into his office and slams the door, leaving a small crowd of my peers huddled around my computer screen, snickering.

Another job lost to Second Life. Oh well, there’s always virtual escorting. Thanks, Linden Lab!